Bottles and Barmats

Bottles and barmats,
"that could be a song!"
The conservative club anthem
Excitedly proclaimed John
So i'll write my little note,
Include a few, it won't take long,
See who you can spot
In my conservative club song.
Theres one or two pop into mind
One who falls asleep,
Sometimes cheating death
When he falls down in a heap.
Then there's some on the committee,
Who think they run the place!
When we all know it's the barmaids
But when they're pregnant, there's not much space!
That's the trouble with the con Club
Its known as the con club curse
The female staff get pregnant
not the male ones, that would be a first! 
Although, some look as if they are with child,
When we all know it's the beer!
The look of trepidation
When closing time is near!
We all know the regulars
And the jukebox songs they play
The same things over and over
Every single day!
Theres whiskey is the jar
Playing over and over again
It's a wonder those numbers still work
And the customers don't complain!
Then there's sweet home Alabama,
Playing "all summer long"
And winter, spring and autumn
Yep, he surely loves that song!
On Karaoke night 
the whole place comes alive
Packed in with little elbow room
It's buzzing like a hive
Waiting to sing their songs
Some good and some... Well.... Not
But who could forget Lilly the Pink
Another drink? Yes, I'll need a lot!
Drink up please!
the bar is closed!
Just one more?
A phrase always proposed!
But the the bar staff aren't as drunk as you
They haven't had a few
They want to go to bed
And they've still got lots to do.
Like the bottles and barmats
Yes it's now a song
The conservative club anthem,
Once proclaimed by John.
(c) Hannah Hillier 2011